mondeh mornin rain is not fallin

monday's here. 551am.

was thinking of getting a written-type journal. a public viewing enabled blog doesnt allow storage of personal secrets. and the deepest of thoughts. maybe shop for an ideal one later todeh. having a journal can be quite useful, where its only you and yourself. self-reflection, the most personal of spaces. the blog will still be a place to upload and unload though. i believe, there are many reasons why one blogs. sharing is the most common of them all.

there are many things one can learn about themself in a space of a day. or a weekend. especially when he has too much time doing fairly nothing much. im thankful for this weekend. and many weekends(including past weekdays), for the experiences. iv been thinking too much.

hunger and passion. what makes a person want something. why do people want so many things in their life. do people work for themselves or for someone they have to support. why are people lazy. what will make someone work so hard. i think i have been in some rut. a snowballing of poor habits and rules. which leads to the state of current.

it is true, living in singapore can be tough to many. as compared to staying elsewhere. especially in terms of cost of living, childcare, medical needs. transportation. but eventually you still have to survive here. or migrate to wherever suits your fancy.

hunger. what creates hunger. the drive to succeed. the passion to excel. some do not live by this. some swear by this principal. to be the best. to be the best can drive someone crazy. the will to succeed. will you fail if you dont succeed. one's personal standards determine the will to succeed? it IS considered examplary if you want to do your best. but being the best is not the only way to do things. in fact. if someone has been imbued with 'you have to be the best' mindset since young and he faces failures, he may not be able to cope with it.

the big picture. what kind of house do i want to live in in the future. what kind of car will i want to own. what kind of things CAN i afford. is life always about these things only. i mean. when we started education, it will all lead to these topics. but are all these material things the only things why we put in effort in studying. and work. i think it may be a little sad, this situation. because all things material cannot justify a large part of life. it shouldnt. and all things material shouldnt be the sole reason why i work and earn. there is more to that in life.

yay. im rambling. but heck. this'll make up for all the procrastinatin of being in here. lets flood this blog.

what can i do about disorganisation. sometimes i feel that it is not disorganisation that's stopping me from doing things. its the thought of procrastinating whats disorganised that really does it. i mean, if you're disorganised, but still keep doing em, at least you're completing things. unfortunately maybe a lil bit slower but at least.

responsibility. order. dreams. challenges. confidence. blaah.

change topic. the lot went to JB on the friday evening for dinner. gary took the van and hafiz with his bike. i drove Karsten's land rover kinda jeep for about 400 metres. haha. it was fun. this'll be the second time iv driven a manual transmission vehicle. isnt that tough. highlights of the trip will be the malaysian customs hold-up. the custom's official in malaysia was a little sneaky though. we almost exited the malaysian customs when he held up the van. and demamded 200 ringgit for a goods van, whether there's any goods or not. stupid ruling. and we got off in the end, tellin them we were a broke bunch of students without 200 ringgit, even if we tried pooling all our dough together. too large a suspicion of him pocketing that amount for his own usage. quote of the evening was from Hafiz Pizza, "abih, kalau kita tunggu sini, awak bagi kita makan tak?". translation, "so if we were to stay here, will we be given food?". That was the reply to the customs official asking us to leave our van there if we didnt have 200 bucks. to which, he yelled, "WHO DO YOU think youre talking to", pointing to his overstuffed outfit. hilarious. he desperately did not want to let us off. fucker(pardon moi). we shouldve just ran him over or drove off.

6.30am. appointment at bukit panjang 10 am. gotta put stuffs in the right places in my room. everythings everywhere. thats how bad the situation is. gotta boulder in SP later tonight. ok enuff of typin. laters.

sigh

nightmarish

friday so goddamn fast

been to Tioman recently.. 3 day 2 night. very refreshing trip. nothing compares to anywhere outside the hustle and bustle of singapore.

snorkeling, flips off the jetty, bbq dinners, early breakfasts, long talks into the wee hours. highlights of the trip. and team bonding between colleagues of uncle's group. not bad for a totally sponsored trip. the only downside was the 6 hrs of travelling by bus plus ferry. and high fever the first day on the island.

at least HBO kept my nocturnal restlessness at bay. Wilder Napalm. cool fire throwing shit.

it somehow feels slightly different back in singapore. maybe its the way i'm viewing things. difference in perceptions. optimism. pessimism. still a whole lot to learn about myself. 27 years and still going.

sakit ah

3 am. but its ok.

the body's a mess of aches. neck, stomach, tricep. the body's been kinda shutting down on me. it refuses to climb. or maybe its the weight. or maybe its the disorganisation. but at this stage, and in this condition, its hard to enjoy climbing. total shutdown. rebellion.

gonna be bz thurs. already prepared for office. several things to note. supremehealth for aunt, totalshield introduction(WOOHOO), fireman, lazerwoman, pizzaboy. among many other appointments.

was fun talking to thomas. his now in a cast. to be taken off in two weeks time. 'lucky its dry weather now, not humid(or it will stink up)'. he fell off a top-out 5 metres from ground and one leg fell out of the crashpads unfortunately. there were actually 7-8 crashpads laid out on the ground. wat luck eh. hope things go well following that surgery. big respect for thomas, who has worked his ass off in singapore for abt 4 years and got an auditor job in San Francisco, where within 1.5 years he got to one level below manager. 'climbing is jus a lifestyle'. 'concentrate on your career'. dishing out some needed advice which i will take high note of.


ache ache ache. bah.

otot otot aku

Theres NO WAY im going to be a better climber if i dont keep climbing.

Theres NO WAY im going to improve in anything if i dont KEEP AT IT.

If i take on things half-heartedly, the results eventually turn out to be just average.

Rushing can be a waste of time. People get called absent-minded because they rush and they miss out things.

To organise eventually leads to more efficiency.

Don't go over the same things twice. Try not to.

Reservists is gonna be over soon. One more day shift and IPPT and close chapter. Night shift is wreaking havoc on the biological slumber time. All appointments shifted till after the 28th. 30th and 1st booked for roadshow. 29th having an alliance meeting with other groups in Eunos office. Following that the AGM for SPRC, wonder how that'll turn out. Preparing certain things to put across to the new batch. Getting a new hp soon, not sure which model but certain the camera is 3.2 megapigs. Oink.

Bought ties, pants, thumbdrive for work. Went through a million ties only to purchase three. I'm gonna be a tie lover soon. Rooms a mess, nothing new. At least work's all sorted out and neat. Climbing was unexpectedly good. Lost some power and lockoff. Rephrase. Systems down, but not alarming. Keep it consistent and the only way is up.

Gotta call up Nazir to enquire about the Mercedes show. That'll rake in some moolah. Which will definitely come in handy. A tic tac over the handrail reminds me of ol days. Still have it, somewhere in me haha. After a while of inactivity in relation to parkour, the flow is restricted by the extra calculations and measurements in the brains.

A good lesson learnt last week. Once personal accident policy signed, to expedite the first premium payment as soon as possible. Client injured her leg and had she settled her entry premium, she wouldve been able to claim that 80 bucks payment for that accident. Up to 4ooo bucks actually. For as many accidents, depending on how unlucky one can get. A HUGE sigh that the bill was only 80. phew.

Transformers coming to town on the 28th. Won't miss it for the world.

Felt good having shared my viewpoints with Karsten. On how breathing in another way may assist his climbing movements. As you teach, you learn. So true. Hope he will improve further. Here's a quick example on how breathing at the right time helps one in their climbing.

Take a deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath till your lungs are full. And squeeze every muscle, as if you're trying to excrete ur excreta. Or as if you're Mr Olympia squeezing your ripped physique on the stage. You'll probably feel quite 'strong'. Ok. Now, exhale every little air in your body and squeeeeeeeze those muscles again. Won't feel as 'strong' as the first example.

Translate that to climbing. When you're going to hit a small hold, or say, a far lunge. Which one of the two breathing examples would you use. Give that a thought. Those who say the second example, please sprint into a wall. Concrete. Jean Baptiste Tribout, french climber, mentioned this in an old climbing video(imagine French accented), "If you want to climb aaaard(silent H) routez, you need to breazzzthe properly". Ah well. Hard move ahead, breathe in -> air fills up the lungs -> feel strong -> move and grab the handhold -> stick, head shoot back for dramatic effects, grunt/shriek/scream/don't snort/yell like an idiot -> and release breath, awaiting the next move.

Gotta wake up at 0530hrs tomorrow and head to Nanyang NPC. Oh boy i so love reservists where i can protect the streets of singapore from crooks. Yeah rrrrrite. SLEEP AHH!

morning singapore

taxi drivers are fun. somehow not just 'drivers'. there are the long-timers. 20 to even 30 yrs in it. there are the 'golden handshook' ones. wat-to-do ppl after retrenchments from their highly specialised former work backgrounds. and there are also the retirement dont want to stay at home and rot drivers. earlier tonight met one night-shifter. night shifters drive time is between 5pm to 5am. but they dont really drive all 12hrs. anyways. this uncle sounds like a retired army guy. probably in the early 50s. usual daily routine, drive home to wash the taxi. head for a MORNING jog at tamp stadium and hit the sack at 8am. steady la uncle. runner abis. respek.

taxi drivers. talk abt them can write a book. can learn much from the conversations.

lotsa things to accomplish tomorrow.